The last few weeks have been very emotional.
I started getting over my morning sickness and my breasts stopped hurting around week 11 (shortly after my last post). At week 11 and 1/2, I got a TERRIBLE bladder infection. I was in so much pain, I missed several shifts at work. There was also enough blood in my urine to keep me panicked (that doesnt look right, but I cant figure out how to spell it) that something bigger was going on and Baby was in danger.
Week 13 was a God-send. The bladder/urinating pain finally went away and my lab tests showed the infection was gone. We also met Dr Andrea Campaigne. COOLEST DOCTOR EVER. If you need an OB in the Austin-area, I highly recommend her. She said all the right things to calm my fears, made me laugh, made me think, and was so relaxed I felt I could talk to her about anything. We also got to hear baby's heartbeat. He/she is perfectly healthy and growing inside me =_) There is nothing as beautiful or emotional as hearing your first child's heartbeat for the first time. Wow. We set a date to find out boy or girl, later than I was hoping, but Dr Campaigne said b/c I'm fluffy we'd get a better picture later than struggling to try it earlier.
This week, week 14, has been looong. We've started packing up our apartment to move out to the farm next week. I finished my final projects, just have a couple of papers to write and I'm done for the semester. And work has been terrible - tips not coming in, management being down right rude, and just an overall negative atmosphere (worse than normal).
However, last night was crazy awesome. We went to our church's Christmas party. I had the priviledge of sitting with a friend who had bypass exactly one year ago yesterday. She's lost 107lbs and looks incredible! We both enjoyed getting to have a meal with someone who eats like us - start with a small portion and still dont finish it.
Also at the party, several people shared what God has been doing in our lives this last year. It was very powerful. I usually dont share in times like that, but I felt this year I needed to. I encouraged that if youre looking for something, stop and wait on the Lord. He has His timing, but mostly He just wants you to ask Him and wait for Him to answer. That's what it's been like for me...
Almost 7 years ago, I was lookin for love. I desperately wanted to be in a relationship. I thought that's what I needed to make me happy. And like He always does when I'm being naive and selfish, God popped me upside the head and I turned back to Him for my true comfort and THE relationship I really needed. Not 3 months later, He introduced me to my husband. I especially challenged the teenagers in the room to make their boyfriend/girlfriend's relationship with Christ a priority. Being with someone who shares your love of Christ is so very important.
This year has been the same about the same. Last Spring, God showed me, in a very emotional way, that I was extremely dependant, even addicted, to food. Food was my comfort, my friend, my confidant. It was always there for me when I (thought) I needed it. I'd tried to lose weight and get healthy in the past, but it never worked b/c of that total dependancy. At my first consultation for the band, my counselor told of how he would be thinking about what to have for lunch before he even got out of bed in the mornings. Through his story, God opened my eyes. He showed me how often I thought about and planned my next meal. God showed me what was wrong in my life, gave me the opportunity, tools (the band), and finances to make a change, and I give Him all the glory for turning my life around.
As I started to lose and really deal with my emotional attachment to food, God started opening doors for my husband and I to deal with other unknown issues in our marriage. We thought we had a good, better than most, relationship. After going through the fire that was this summer, and truly learning to communicate and trust each other with our words and deepest emotions, fears, and hurts - I can now say we have a GREAT marriage and God is making it better and stronger every day.
My surgery was June 22. Our God-sent-roller-coaster was mid August. He used this summer to get us right with Him and each other so He could bless us more than we could imagine. We never dreamed, especially in all the turmoil, that I would be pregnant by September. And I know it wouldnt have happened if we hadn't turned our sins over to Him and allowed Him purify our hearts.
God knows what he's doing. Ask His guidance. Listen to what He has to say. And most of all, wait for Him.
